Brighton - Our Final Stop

And so, the Final Curtain. Birdsong the Tour 2013 has come to its end. 27 Weeks, 28 Towns, 28 Theatres and 33 Blogs.

As I sit here writing for what I know is for now, the last time, I reflect on the places I have visited, the people I have got to know, the characters I have left behind and the permanent effect they have collectively had on me.

This time last year was when I auditioned, so Birdsong has been in my life for the best part of a year. As I mentioned in one of my early blogs, I knew quite far in advance so there was ample time for build up, excitement, preparation and comfort in the knowledge of 7 months work. Now, having come out the other side, that time feels like a different world. Now is a time for reflection. Not worry, panic, or grief - although as an actor, it takes a lot to keep them at bay - but a sense of coming full circle and feeling comfort in the knowledge that I am indeed a year older, and contrary to some people’s opinions... ;-) that much wiser.

It is not simply the different theatres and the various ways in which you experience the play that leave impressions on you when touring like this, but the variety and contrast of this country’s many towns. Malvern and Southend, Bath and Oldham, Dublin and Milton Keynes - at times feeling like worlds apart but yet there is a constant; us and the story we are there to tell. The joy of touring and especially as extensively as this, is that it allows people from all over the country to share the experience and this has felt all the more poignant because of the subject; one of the most significant periods in the history of Britain. People from all walks of life and all parts of this country fought in that war. At a time when class defined who people were, it played an undeniable role in breaking that down. Not completely of course, but the realisation that we are all human and that a Title does not protect you from a bullet, grenade, or shell seemed to leave its impression. No matter their circumstances, the experiences shared on those battlefields in France united men in ways they never knew possible.

I will never think, nor talk, nor feel the same way about the First World War having done this play. Over 200 shows and for me, it never lost its power. My character of Lisette did not feature in the war sequences at all, she was a memory. Only once past rehearsals and having opened the play, did this really dawn on me. In a play personifying the horror of WW1, I was playing a character literally a world apart - not only for the obvious reason of being a memory but because she was living in a time when people hadn’t been pushed to those limits, hadn’t been forced to see what humanity can bear. Though with her own trials and conflicts, she still lived in the comfort of pre-war upper class France. In remarkable contrast to this, I played a WW1 Prostitute - someone living in a polar opposite world to Lisette. Sexually, they represented the two ends of the spectrum. Lisette being the hormonal teen plagued by adolescence and the inability to control alien feelings that were indeed her sexual awakening. Then Prostitute, who had come a long way from her awakening, perhaps as far as you could get - becoming numb to what the act of sex means, not only due to the nature of the job but because of the extreme circumstances in which she played it out. The men she saw would not only have come for sex but as with Stephen, come to talk or simply recount the raw and uncensored descriptions of what they were seeing on a daily basis. Perhaps for comfort, perhaps for reassurance or perhaps the very saying the words out loud was what made it real.

As an actress watching from the wings, I was still, even at the end, moved to tears by the words, feeling and commitment of my fellow actors as they laughed, cried and with the help of the remarkable technical team, created the unforgettable vision of going over the top.

Every night as I waited to come on for the bows, I would listen to Jon’s speech and I swear there was not one time when these words did not affect me.

“No child or future generation will ever know what this was like, will ever understand.
Now it is over, we will go quietly among the living.
We will talk and sleep and go about our business like human beings.
We will seal what we have seen in the silence of our hearts.
And no words will reach us.” 

BRIGHTON

As I drove into Brighton, I was hit by a wave of yes again, nostalgia. I’d almost forgotten, or just not quite processed, how much time I have actually spent there and what the place means to me. It seems strange but I have a feeling it has something to do with the fact that it was where we were finishing. As I think back to our very first day of rehearsal when Alastair mentioned what fun we’d have at our final party in Brighton - being so far in the future and in the knowledge of all there was to experience before, it just didn’t seem palpable. Brighton? A distant idea that at that time, didn’t feel like it would ever actually come around.

First Day of Rehearsal

Funnily enough though, as I did drive in I felt an overwhelming sense of calm. And that this really was the right place to finish. The week went slower than recent weeks (that we seem to have literally burnt through) and I felt each day came around one at a time. Whilst the phrase “is it Thursday already?” so often reverberated around the theatre, I found myself at times racing ahead then realising it was still in fact Tuesday.

Speaking of Tuesday, Malcolm invited us all round for a lovely lunch at his house! A perfect activity for a rather wet and windy Tuesday by the sea. Catering for all, there was Gluten Free, Wheat-Free, Vegetarian and more. A delicious start to the social week and lovely chance to check out Malcolm’s wonderful pad. Never had coffee like it! A Delooooooonghiiiii coffee machine. Bernarrrrd (Arthur Bostrom’s American alter ego) and Phoeeeeeeeenix (mine) had hours of fun.

I then wandered into town for a spot of sight-seeing and reminiscing...

...

Then card shopping...endless choice for Liam's!

Before heading to the theatre and managing to get a photo with Charlie G Hawkins!

Haven't washed since....

Wednesday arrived and so did the exciting rehearsal with Sebastian!

As some of you may know, on Thursday Sebastian Faulks actually performed with us in the matinee and the evening show! He took on the role of Sapper Cartwright in what was to be his stage debut (bar school pantomime) and he did a pretty sterling job - hats off to him for also having to share a dressing room with Tim Treloar ;-)

He slotted in seamlessly, instantly taking to the role and embracing all things theatre. Make-up included!

Both shows done, it was time for the end of Tour Party! Jon and Anne-Marie organised a fabulous bash in a local bar, Bohemia, providing us with Champagne, Nibbles and Punch that came out of a treasure chest!

Once suitably oiled, we sat down for what was to be a happy, sad, hilarious and tearful couple of hours. Lauren hosted and organised an unforgettable evening including award ceremonies, photo montages, hilarious videos and humble thank yous. She took us back through the places we'd visited showing us videos and photos that evoked a tear in the most hardened of souls. Liam, as usual, was a mess on the floor.

All 

Friday was spent in recovery, soaking up the sun and preparing to see two of my dearest friends Claire and Rhiannon, who were coming to see the show that night. I didn't take a picture of them! But they brought me these beautiful roses so hopefully they'll forgive me if I post this... :-)

They've seen the show twice - once in Crawley and once here. They were so surprised by how different it was. I guess it's rare for anyone to see a show twice but for them it wasn't just what they picked up the second time, but the difference a venue can make. As people whose professions lie outside the theatre, it was fascinating to hear how differently they experienced the play.

And so to Saturday. A strange feeling to wake up knowing that in around 12 hours, this world of Birdsong will cease to exist. Luckily, I was distracted from this potentially sinking feeling by the wonder that is gay pride! It, and the sun, brightened my final journey to the theatre and set me up with a spring in my step for the final hurdle.

The final shows were a lot calmer than I had anticipated. I felt ok for the matinee in the comforting knowledge that we had one more go after this but as that final time came round, it felt, OK. As I have mentioned before, the body and mind seem to have a remarkable way of adapting to these situations. Whilst there are of course tears, hugs and genuine feelings of grief, things cannot last forever and this was the tour's rightful end. I am perhaps still in come down euphoria and will emerge with a significantly sore head when I hit the ground any day now but hopefully, it will still be with a degree of perspective, reflection and huge sense of achievement.

One

Last

Drink

This has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life and one I will never forget - it is rare to forget a job in this profession but this has had such significance because it was my first tour, telling a story I was previously so fond of already, and it provided me with the opportunity to work and spend 7 months with an exceptionally talented and truly wonderful group of people. I will miss the play, the theatres, the towns, the characters, the people. But I will embark on the next chapter safe in the knowledge that I made the most of every second. Until the next time. Polly X